Acceptance

How does one cope with change? When something changes to make things better, everybody is happy. It takes time to get used to it, but nobody complains. However, when things change for the worse - when you lose somebody or you give up something you don't want to, it hurts. To say it hurts is a very crude form of trying to put into words the oscillations in emotions one goes through when adapting to sudden change.

I started reading a book titled "When everything changes, change everything". The title clearly indicates the kind of method suggested to get past a sudden change - move away from what happened and change everything around you. I do not believe in that, and I couldn't continue reading the book, but it triggered off a stream of thoughts on how one does actually deal with change. Does one read such "motivational books"? Or does one go on a holiday and look for better things? Quit one's job and move to a different place?

To change everything when everything changes. Is it worth it? If you lose somebody and you can't stop feeling miserable when something reminds you of it, does it mean you move away? Or destroy those memories, just to move on? Aren't the memories worth more than the treatment you give it? It's worth all that and more, and the worst part is - you know it. Moving to a different place or making youself busier than usual might offer temporary help, might help you forget things till you cross the stage of utter shock and disbelief, but trust me, from personal experience I say that it doesn't work that way all the time. Not if you actually do want to move on and be happy again.

The only way to truly get over something depressing is to accept the situation for what it is. Only when you let go of the restraints that hold you on to a life that no longer belongs to you will you be happy again. Change is necessary, change is the only thing that remains constant, like a lot of famous people claim. But what is most important is how you deal with change. There may be times when you feel lonely though you're surrounded by swarms of people, times when you cling on to somebody you barely know because you're scared to be alone. In the end, what matters is that you get there, not how you do. And when you do, you'll be a stronger person and won't regret the change. You'll embrace it and in a way thank it for making you a stronger person.