There's a lot to say on this subject, many personal experiences apart from the horrifying stories I've heard from friends. The most recent experience of mine was just a few hours back, and yet I'm here, not knowing how to start writing on this issue. So many comments, so many diferent recollections of the same actions, so many acerbic curse words make their way through - but something stops me because the people whom I'm addressing are not worth even that much time of mine.
Here is a post my friend, dedicated to all you hip-pinchers and dress-pullers and leg-rubbers and butt-slappers. Here's a post just for you, all about you and your innumerable methods of making the best out of a situation where there is a woman sitting/standing in front/behind or next to you. You men set the rules don't you? You say you take advantage of a woman/girl only if you think they deserve it. Only if you think their dress is too vulgar. Even women (read mami's) agree that it's a girl's fault if she "attracts attention". I think you're forgetting this small point called freedom. India happens to be a free country, and it's any persons own choice to wear what they want. When you men can roam around in Lungis- revealing a bit more thigh than you should, and banyans- revealing a bit more chest than you should, I don't see why women cannot wear what they want. No girl in her right mind will wear clothes that she knows is vulgar, so I'm restricting this description to girls who have a decent dressing sense. Decent- defined the way they want. Anybody can carry off any dress or piece of cloth as long as they know and set their own limits. Then who are these unknown men setting the limits for us? Should I cover my heels?Oh I probably should. Since it was cold and early in the morning, I was covered from head to toe anyway, except for a small part of my heel that was not covered by my shoe. My bad, you say? Some people will, some usless good-for-nothing-goons actually might.
Men, pah. The guy who persistenly rubbed his leg against mine happened to be a second year from my college- beat that - a junior molesting a senior. Here he is, happily sitting behind me, slowly working his way up my leg. Sounds gross doesn't it? Feel it, its worse. Giving a nasty look didn't stop him, I was surprised at how determined the guy was to get his point across. He got more than just his point across, damnit. What can one do if there is no rowdy backup in college or no friends to beat up this guy in case a fight crops up? What if one doesn't want to make a scene in the bus and get into trouble with a guy who has a "has gone to jail will go again" look? One just moves her leg away and stop all the trouble and uneasiness. That's what I did, and I decided to forget the incident like all others and get some rest. But this guy has a lot of perseverence you see. He didn't give up that easily on anything, by the looks of it. He tried something yet again, but by then we had reached our destination and it was time to get up. Now as you would expect, rage builds up and a strong urge to beat the living shit out of him or to at least punch his nose and see some blood overcomes my fear of getting into deep trouble. Well, I wish I had done that, but all I could manage was "Do you want me to cut my leg off and give it to you? Maybe then you can feel it better" and a nasty look before I walked off. At least I noticed that his friends were next to him, so if even ONE of them was a bit decent, he will try to talk some sense into the *%&#.
I don't understand what it is with these people, who consider it their right to take advantage of any woman walking down the road. It's not rare to walk in a crowded place and have your butt slapped a few times; by the time you look to find who the culprit is - they're gone, dissolved into the rest of the crowd. Imagine the plight of the girls who travel by public bus - I have a friend who has to go through the unfortunate experience every single day. It just takes getting used to, some people say. They'll never change, why fret and spoil your day thinking about it? say others. What has brought these boys/men to a level where nobody thinks of punishing them anymore? I can think of good punishments - trust me. The images I have of that guy in my mind will make a few of you shrink away in horror. But this is just one face. How many men are there, with faces we don't remember, but leaving a lasting, disgusting impression in our minds anyway? Infinite number of men, without conscience or a sense of decency, leaving a mark in every single girl they touch inappropriately - though for them it's just another timepass in just another bus journey. The anger still hasn't gone away - not after the condescending look I gave him, not after the acrid post I've tried writing. It won't go away for a long time to come, because I know that right now, there are a few hundred women going through what I went through, maybe more. Don't these guys have sisters? Wives? Girlfriends? Mothers? Aunts? Cousins? Daughters? The saddest part is - they all do, but yet they decide to behave this way. which shines light on how cheap these people really are.
I'm not blaming all men, there are some very decent men out there in the world, and I'm honoured that I know so many of them, but I do know that each one of them knows at least one other person who behaves this way. That's the ratio between the number of decent men and the number of indecent men this country has. This is such a sad figure and it brings me to a point where I don't have anything more to say, because this blog post is in no way going to stop these BASTARDS (Sorry, bro - I meant not to swear, but these guys deserve it) from doing what they've always been doing.
This incident is not a first, definitely not. There have been many more occasions where various other methods than what have been described above have been tried. Listing each one is a tedious process, and unnecessary all the same. Becuase it doesn't matter how they do it, what matters is they do. Be it a slight brush against the hand or a deliberate pinch on the hip - indecency is still indecency.
Here is a post my friend, dedicated to all you hip-pinchers and dress-pullers and leg-rubbers and butt-slappers. Here's a post just for you, all about you and your innumerable methods of making the best out of a situation where there is a woman sitting/standing in front/behind or next to you. You men set the rules don't you? You say you take advantage of a woman/girl only if you think they deserve it. Only if you think their dress is too vulgar. Even women (read mami's) agree that it's a girl's fault if she "attracts attention". I think you're forgetting this small point called freedom. India happens to be a free country, and it's any persons own choice to wear what they want. When you men can roam around in Lungis- revealing a bit more thigh than you should, and banyans- revealing a bit more chest than you should, I don't see why women cannot wear what they want. No girl in her right mind will wear clothes that she knows is vulgar, so I'm restricting this description to girls who have a decent dressing sense. Decent- defined the way they want. Anybody can carry off any dress or piece of cloth as long as they know and set their own limits. Then who are these unknown men setting the limits for us? Should I cover my heels?Oh I probably should. Since it was cold and early in the morning, I was covered from head to toe anyway, except for a small part of my heel that was not covered by my shoe. My bad, you say? Some people will, some usless good-for-nothing-goons actually might.
Men, pah. The guy who persistenly rubbed his leg against mine happened to be a second year from my college- beat that - a junior molesting a senior. Here he is, happily sitting behind me, slowly working his way up my leg. Sounds gross doesn't it? Feel it, its worse. Giving a nasty look didn't stop him, I was surprised at how determined the guy was to get his point across. He got more than just his point across, damnit. What can one do if there is no rowdy backup in college or no friends to beat up this guy in case a fight crops up? What if one doesn't want to make a scene in the bus and get into trouble with a guy who has a "has gone to jail will go again" look? One just moves her leg away and stop all the trouble and uneasiness. That's what I did, and I decided to forget the incident like all others and get some rest. But this guy has a lot of perseverence you see. He didn't give up that easily on anything, by the looks of it. He tried something yet again, but by then we had reached our destination and it was time to get up. Now as you would expect, rage builds up and a strong urge to beat the living shit out of him or to at least punch his nose and see some blood overcomes my fear of getting into deep trouble. Well, I wish I had done that, but all I could manage was "Do you want me to cut my leg off and give it to you? Maybe then you can feel it better" and a nasty look before I walked off. At least I noticed that his friends were next to him, so if even ONE of them was a bit decent, he will try to talk some sense into the *%&#.
I don't understand what it is with these people, who consider it their right to take advantage of any woman walking down the road. It's not rare to walk in a crowded place and have your butt slapped a few times; by the time you look to find who the culprit is - they're gone, dissolved into the rest of the crowd. Imagine the plight of the girls who travel by public bus - I have a friend who has to go through the unfortunate experience every single day. It just takes getting used to, some people say. They'll never change, why fret and spoil your day thinking about it? say others. What has brought these boys/men to a level where nobody thinks of punishing them anymore? I can think of good punishments - trust me. The images I have of that guy in my mind will make a few of you shrink away in horror. But this is just one face. How many men are there, with faces we don't remember, but leaving a lasting, disgusting impression in our minds anyway? Infinite number of men, without conscience or a sense of decency, leaving a mark in every single girl they touch inappropriately - though for them it's just another timepass in just another bus journey. The anger still hasn't gone away - not after the condescending look I gave him, not after the acrid post I've tried writing. It won't go away for a long time to come, because I know that right now, there are a few hundred women going through what I went through, maybe more. Don't these guys have sisters? Wives? Girlfriends? Mothers? Aunts? Cousins? Daughters? The saddest part is - they all do, but yet they decide to behave this way. which shines light on how cheap these people really are.
I'm not blaming all men, there are some very decent men out there in the world, and I'm honoured that I know so many of them, but I do know that each one of them knows at least one other person who behaves this way. That's the ratio between the number of decent men and the number of indecent men this country has. This is such a sad figure and it brings me to a point where I don't have anything more to say, because this blog post is in no way going to stop these BASTARDS (Sorry, bro - I meant not to swear, but these guys deserve it) from doing what they've always been doing.
This incident is not a first, definitely not. There have been many more occasions where various other methods than what have been described above have been tried. Listing each one is a tedious process, and unnecessary all the same. Becuase it doesn't matter how they do it, what matters is they do. Be it a slight brush against the hand or a deliberate pinch on the hip - indecency is still indecency.
5 comments:
I know exactly what you mean! Somehow nothing is enough to get some sense into those peanut size brains of those belonging to the disgusting lot!!
I hope you are okay...BIG HUG!
They never learn. And the more I'm talking about it, the more I feel I should've slapped him, if nothing else, I'll at least not end up feeling like crap.
And hug right back atcha :)
That happened to be once when I travelled by bus.. I slapped the guy's hand off.
I'm not sure that there exists a permanent solution for this, really.
U must've slapped n i'd've been happy...! Even i've seen that sort of guys n have given the same kinda look u jus said...
"They never learn." - Well said.
But don't worry... They're jus BASTARDS, i tell u...
Don't worry... :)
@ Saranya - There isn't a permanent solution. But there should be. sigh.
@Raghavan - :)
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